Over the weekend I attended an evening BBQ, alongside someone I’ve grown very close to since moving to Chicago.
To be quite honest, as of late, I’ve been pretty stressed out, and haven’t been able to express myself in the ways I’ve needed to. A lot of whom I am becoming; my light, my energy — has felt suffocated and extinguished, and for about a month now, I’ve noticed myself uneasily falling into step with normalities — which is very unlike me.
But this weekend.. this weekend changed all of that.
This particular Saturday evening, as I shared an abundance of wonderfully grilled food with people who spoke a mixture of Spaniard Spanish and accented American English, I felt at peace, sincerely smiling and laughing and absorbing the kindness of the atmosphere.
There was this beautiful little girl, whose photo is at the top, whom I spent a lot of my time with that evening. And though my Spanish isn’t as fantastic as it could be, and her English, at 4-years old and being from Spain, dwindled back into Spanish, I smiled at the sentences I understood and held her hand as she led me to and fro.
The light and embers of the fire, the warmth of individuals coming together and having a good time — even the sudden movements of itching my shoulder after yet another mosquito bite, all made me feel that much more in-tune with feeling happier; feeling like I was exactly where I belonged.
And at the end of the evening, even the sensation of holding someone else’s hand, without it being extremely sentimentally romantic, felt gracious and filled with a kind of care I hadn’t understood could, just.. be.
Cheers to summer evenings which rekindle your spirit and refill your sense of existence.
Do you have a favorite summer memory that made you feel this way?