Breakups: 10 Things You Should Never, Ever Do Afterwards
#1. Don’t take it out on your body
Chick-flick cliché — a wailing broken hearted girl gobbling up a double gallon of ice cream, getting over that ex. Oh, it’s so true. I know how tempting a tub of rocky road Haagen Dazs is right then and there — and go for it occasionally. Enjoy the fact that you don’t have to suck in your gut for a bit. But make sure it’s just for a bit. You don’t want the self-loathing stuff that comes after too many of those binges. Be kind to your body, and it will be kind to you. Get your behind off that couch and into the gym!
#2. Don’t be “on the hunt”
Rid yourself of that ridiculous myth: “The best way to get over a man (or woman) is to get under another one.” Don’t get me wrong — it isn’t wrong to seek “comfort” with another person. But instead get yourself a good friend to spend your spare time with, but don’t jump on the relationship bandwagon too soon; take your time. And when anyone asks you why you’re not going out with someone because you’re sooooo great with that sad sack face of theirs — tell them to take a hike. Remember, most of your pals aren’t having that “ideal” relationship they claim to be having at home — but YOU can be; and maybe that relationship starts with getting to know the new, single, you. Enjoy your new freedom!
#3. Don’t stalk him/her
You’re way too smart to stalk him or her physically after your breakup. Of course you are, but on social media? Well, that’s pretty tempting. Dump him or her and all their friends and family. It’s simply too easy to track him or her on these outlets. Know to have your exes BLOCKED from all of your accounts because we all know, one of those 3 a.m. nights were you’re still unable to sleep, you’d go sniffing. Don’t. You don’t need to know where he or she’s going or who he or she’s
going with. All hurtful. Move on.
#4. Don’t tell “your story” to everyone
Hold back. Don’t tell everybody how you’ve been wronged. Utterly and completely booooring! Save your droning for your journals and very, verygood friends. The longer you hold on to “your story” and keep soliciting sympathy, the longer it will take you to move forward, and I don’t want your friends to dump you, too.
#5. Don’t hold on to the memorabilia
Dump the keepsakes. Dump all those memory triggers. Use this as an opportunity to de-clutter. Dump all the toxic people and things in your life and learn to live light and live right!
#6. Don’t waste energy on revenge.
Don’t waste energy on revenge. Revenge is utter crap and selfishness. Don’t get even. Get over it.
#7. Don’t isolate yourself
You’re way too fabulous to be a shut-in. Get out and beyond your four walls. Push yourself away from your comfort zones — take some risks and have a little fun! Meet your friends for some guy-time, watch a game or go out and play one. Or a girl’s night out. Wear red lipstick and some killer stillettos and work it because you can.
#8. Don’t settle for crumbs
That means anybody’s crumbs — not your ex’s, not your friends’, not your new date’s. Guys usually tell you up front who they really are. Learn to listen. Don’t date the damaged, bad kissers, texting lunatics or potential “projects.” Take this time to raise your standards.
#9. Ease up on your regret B.S.
See your ex for what he or she truly was and try not to obsess about what could have or should have happened. That romanticized, idealized version can torment you after a breakup. Don’t let it. It’s done, over, finito. Bye-bye. See you never.
#10. Don’t beat yourself up about relapses
Relapses happen. Anniversaries, birthdays and other special dates always find a way to creep up on you when you least remember to expect it. However, instead of downing yourself, remind yourself to be grateful that you are not with him or her any more. Remind yourself that people do NOT change. He or she isn’t a better person/lover/friend to someone else. He or she hasn’t aged and changed into that someone you need NOW that you’ve left them. This time needs to be about you and your recovery. Choose to be happy and choose to accept the love and respect you can give yourself.